Well, men like what they like. I have said this a million times. That is why you sometimes find a married man with a very beautiful wife, but cheating on her with an average looking one. Then we have men who love women that demand money left, right and centre.
Now, I have a few things to say about women who look at men as an ATM machine. These ones will go around with a begging bowl sounding needy and stressed, only to brag to everyone who cares to listen that they actually do not care about the men in question, only using them for the money.
“Ndimangomudye ra mamuna amene uja sikuti ndili naye serious. Mamuna amene uja ndi opusa, amangondipatsa ndalama zambiri. [I just get so much from that man, but I am not serious about him. He is foolish and gives me whatever I demand.]”
You see, when women do this, it is taken as flex to their friends, to show they are loved and adored more. What they do not realise is that by saying these things they actually make the man look stupid or desperate in the eyes of others. They also make the man a target of other greedy women who are looking for a quick pay out.
Life has a funny way of showing us who people are. One of the ways is when they talk negatively about someone they are in love with, or a former lover. For a woman to claim; ‘Ndimangomudyera mamuna amene uja, it speaks volumes of the lack of respect this woman has towards her man.
And when such women get the opportunity of being loved by a generous person, they mistake that as a weakness.
Women can do better. A man taking care of us or giving us money does not signal desperation. He simply understands the assignment. He knows he has to spoil and take care of you. And if you take that and use it against him, you are a sorry of a woman who deserves to be lonely and sad. You are an insecure human being who blows normal things out of proportion. Why should normal life in a relationship be used to either boost someone’s ego or make someone look stupid?
Unfortunately the heart likes what it likes and at times our hearts might choose such characters. What matters at the end of the day is how we respond when we discover that the person we like says such things about us.
A person who kisses and tells does not deserve to be in a relationship. That is a child in a woman’s body. But we can also not rule out that we have women who intentionally date men just for money. This type is obvious. They have the body and presence to attract any man. But how they behave once they know you are interested in them tells you all you need to know. You cannot buy love and affection. Money is the last thing on the mind of a woman who truly loves you. Period!
And then on May 3 2026 Candid Talk column was named Misa Malawi Raphael Tenthani Column of the Year. This is the fourth time to claim this accolade. We also won it in 2022, 2023 and 2024. We celebrate this win with all our readers
